My life has changed so drastically over the past six years. In December 2010, I was taking injectable hormones in an on-going attempt to get pregnant. I had found out midyear that I was infertile and by New Year's, I was on my last round of hormones. Everything was a total and complete failure and my body failed to respond to any of the drugs. The doctors told me I couldn't bear children. Got to love autoimmune issues....
At the time, it was devastating. I was completely lost and I had no idea what my future or even dreams looked like anymore. I was so lonely throughout this process. At the time, what felt like such a tragedy was actually simply a fork in the road. I had two paths: keep fighting for that dream or create a life that made me happy in a different way. I decided to quit fighting. I threw my hands up and basically started blindly following my passions. If something made me happy, I kept moving towards that. There were definite moments of devasting heartbreak but I knew that life wasn't for me. And the road towards this life of greater content and happiness was really that simple--focusing on the things that made me happy.
Each year since 2010, I've looked forward to the next year and thought, "This will be my best year yet." And I'd end each year thinking, "almost..." or "next year will be the year." Looking back on 2016, I can honestly say it's been my best year since my life took such a major change in direction. It wasn't always easy, but it is turning out pretty great.
Things I learned, relearned or built upon
- Trust your intuition.
- Allow minor fails for major gains.
- Focus on flow. Make decisions based on flow and intuition. Everything doesn't need to be an uphill battle.
- Behaviors and actions mean more than words, comments or statements.
- Appreciate the calm, quiet times. Remember to recover.
- Patience is crucial. Everything doesn't need to be fixed, healed or figured out immediately.
- Life ebbs and flows.
Goals for 2017
- Continue following and building upon the lessons learned in 2016.
- Push myself personally and professionally when it comes to decision-making, processes, and efficiency.
- Achieve a greater level of calmness, particularly in stressful or emotional situations.
- Keep appreciating living abroad and this crazy life in Belgium. I have no idea how long it'll last.
- Cherish those amazing relationships in life that are built upon love, trust and respect. Make sure they all know how important they are to me.